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Unless ur into necrophilia too

One less POS for u to cheat on me with

9 months ago with .

oh and chapstick

don’t ever wake me up for a wedding again unless we’re in vegas and u have coke

9 months ago with .

Who dat is?

If the last 3 seperate times u txted me I say ‘who is this?’ it’s not bc I lost ur # genius

11 months ago with .

and the unanimous winner is…

too bad they dont give an oscar for acting like a spoiled bitch

11 months ago with .

that’s the sitch, bitch

if u need me I’ll be gettin situated w a dtf chick whose body is perfectly situated

12 months ago with .

Too.Much.Zaxbys

T.M.Z. just offered me $10,000 to burn all copies of your topless photos

1 year ago with .

my new girl is in HR

when i kickd u out i think i sprained my ankle. good thing u cant drop me from ur insurance till the end of the month

1 year ago with .

Check-out

Why don’t u check-in at the corner of Eat Shit & Die

1 year ago with .

Wild thing

I was tryin hard to be 2 and a half men, but being charlie sheen is was more fun

1 year ago with .

f*ck u and uh f*ck her too

i pitty the fool that falls in love with u

1 year ago with .